True Love
If I I could tell you just one final thing
It's that I've always loved you all this time
Though the words I say now won't mean a thing
Like hoping water would turn into wine
I never make a promise I can't keep
But I'll make an exception for you now
If there are nights where you can't fall asleep
Call me and I'll be there for you somehow
Loving you is bitter sweet
A delicious painful treat
Like wet rain in the sunshine
But it's a feeling divine
If I could go back in time
I'll give myself a few tips
Like how you love lemon lime
And adore potato chips
No vegetables for you
And no cigarrette smoke too
You love everything blue
Like the laces of your shoe
But now you have gone away to a better place
And I'm left here alone with my thoughts and sorrow
I still bear the memories I cannot erase
Heaven knows if there'll be a better tomorrow
So as I continue on this journey of life
I try to be positive and think good thoughts
Hey, at least I survived and I am still alive
Alas, true love is not something which can be bought
Note: As per Ivan's suggestion, I've changed some parts of the poem to be more 'passive', haha.. I think it's a bit better now. And gender neutral too! haha..
True Love
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4 comments:
Sounds like something from the heart, dude. Just a few suggestions: Maybe rewrite the parts "I can do to make you mine", "you were mine" and "make you my wife". They sound like you want to own the girl, which makes you sound possessive (which I know isn't the meaning you want to convey in the poem/ lyrics). Parts like "Call me and I'll be there for you somehow" is much more appropriate. Cheers.
haha, dude.. its fictional!
thanks for the suggestion. i'll think about the rewrite =)
whoa... a guy who can write a very nice poem.. i salute you.. lol.. i adore people who can show themselves thru pen and paper, but u are diffrent you do it thru typing.. very nice poem...
Whoah. A sweet poem . I love it . (:
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