tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8672771289371555272.post8839165074851110083..comments2023-08-05T17:32:24.688+08:00Comments on my music haven: True LoveFirdaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16510680989681638340noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8672771289371555272.post-33299070927654246622009-05-17T16:40:00.000+08:002009-05-17T16:40:00.000+08:00Whoah. A sweet poem . I love it . (:Whoah. A sweet poem . I love it . (:DippyDippyDoohttp://www.rainbowhatiku.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8672771289371555272.post-74377661577805426812008-09-18T18:49:00.000+08:002008-09-18T18:49:00.000+08:00whoa... a guy who can write a very nice poem.. i s...whoa... a guy who can write a very nice poem.. i salute you.. lol.. i adore people who can show themselves thru pen and paper, but u are diffrent you do it thru typing.. very nice poem...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8672771289371555272.post-81982739043395095952008-05-19T13:46:00.000+08:002008-05-19T13:46:00.000+08:00haha, dude.. its fictional! thanks for the suggest...haha, dude.. its fictional! <BR/><BR/>thanks for the suggestion. i'll think about the rewrite =)Firdaushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16510680989681638340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8672771289371555272.post-14592812285382071752008-05-19T11:27:00.000+08:002008-05-19T11:27:00.000+08:00Sounds like something from the heart, dude. Just a...Sounds like something from the heart, dude. Just a few suggestions: Maybe rewrite the parts "I can do to make you mine", "you were mine" and "make you my wife". They sound like you want to own the girl, which makes you sound possessive (which I know isn't the meaning you want to convey in the poem/ lyrics). Parts like "Call me and I'll be there for you somehow" is much more appropriate. Cheers.Ivan Chewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02727226573817276108noreply@blogger.com